Working Girl

{...erm}

I recently read this post about putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and have been thinking about it ever since because the last year of my life has been a very uncomfortable year professionally.  I never cried at work before I started my current job but more than once (or twice, or thrice) I have had to dash to my car and have a good stress-relieving bawl.  It's getting better now.  The finish line for the large project I've been managing is in sight and most of our major hurdles are behind us but it has been tough.

On top of managing a large, extremely visible project, I have had to adapt to an industry and department in which I have zero experience.  I didn't even know people like my coworkers existed.  They are mostly engineers, mostly men, and for the first 8-9 months I had no rapport with any of them and I was miserable because I felt like an outsider.  Now I have a little niche in our team and some great work friendships that have sprung up over time.  I am still trying to define that niche since I work in a fairly sexist environment.  I get teased about wearing skirts, about being adorable, about being young; I get called 'kiddo' and 'dear' and told I'm too little to do some things and have men offer to take over certain tasks for me.  None of it is intended to be offensive or belittling but I have had to put my foot down, especially on the 'dear' thing.  Mostly it just fuels my desire to succeed because WHEN I'M YOUR BOSS, YOU CAN'T CALL ME 'KIDDO'.  Just kidding/not kidding...

I recently asked two directors at my company to mentor me and it has already been a major help in framing my experience over the last year.  (Apparently I love to be uncomfortable because I chose two mentors who kind of scare me even though I admire their work).  The initial discussions we've had have been thought-provoking, clarifying and have reinforced my belief in my company's mission and values because these two individuals clearly believe in them.

In no particular order, the most helpful advice they've given me is:

• Be tough and be realistic.
• It's not about being fair, it's about helping the business succeed.
• Manage risk and the schedule will follow.
• Look to the small accomplishments to keep you going through a long project.
• Figure out what you're good at and work at being better at it.  Don't try to be good at something you hate and are not good at to begin with.
• When you're good at something you enjoy, you'll be successful.
• Don't be afraid to point out the obvious.
• Being different from everyone else is a benefit to the company.  Don't be afraid to speak up.
• Don't be afraid to narrow your focus when it comes to figuring out what you want to do.  It can be scary to feel like you're eliminating options but it will help.
• Being successful in your career is like being married; it takes commitment. 

The advice might not sound like much out of context but having these discussions and being able to pose my questions to these professionals has been tremendous.  In fact, it was during a low day that I decided if I don't get anything else out of this job, I will leave with someone else's knowledge in my head because I am going to take advantage of the great people that work here.

And so it goes, one day at a time.

Yeah, That's About Right

Last Tuesday, we were craving cinnamon rolls so we hit Panera 5 minutes before it closed and I got a cobblestone muffin thing and went straight home and beat my high score on Triple Town by a million points.  Literally a million points.  Sugar and stress are a powerful combination.

The last month has consisted of work, work!, banana bread, work, new flats, work!, weekend getaway, work. More or less.  I think I also ate a small jar of apricot jam by myself.

The hubs whisked me away for a weekend in Leavenworth last weekend and while I enjoyed our time together tremendously I found the Bavarian facades everywhere to be kind of creepy and our bed and breakfast to be a little hinky.  I don't like family style breakfasts and I don't like having to eat with newly engaged couples who humble-brag.  I'm grouchy.

On the plus side, I love my new flats.  Just black this time.

{ fuzzy knitting }

Two (Actually Three) Stories about Poop

1) Bing has a Bing It On blind test thing that shows Bing results and Google results without displaying which is which and then you choose the results you feel are the most helpful.  Out of 5 searches, the only one I preferred the Google results for was 'poop'.  On the left side, there is a picture of unicorn poop and an article about a poop burger (!?).  I'm sold.  (Please don't ask why I would search for 'poop'.  My fingers typed it before my brain realized what was happening...)

2) On Friday, on my drive to work, I saw a tanker truck with a Port-a-Potty attached to the back and the tank presumably full of er... Port-a-Potty stuff.  It made a left hand turn into a farm and hit a bump and the whole vehicle went KACHUNK with a terrific jolt.  My heart stopped.  But the Port-a-Potty remained firmly attached and the tank sloshed but nothing happened.  Complete and Utter Disaster Avoided.

3) At work, our bathrooms are plastered with signs that say "DO NOT STAND ON THE TOILET SEAT". Um.  Yikes.  I try not to think about who/what/when/why but there was once some evidence of something on the outside of the toilet bowl.  Outside of the toilet bowl.  I immediately decided that in fact I would enjoy a brisk walk to the other side of the building to visit their facilities.  Public restrooms are the scariest places in the universe.

Further Evidence That I Do Not Fit In At Work

(very sweet but clueless male) Coworker: Where did you get that sweater?
Me: Anthropologie.
Coworker: *most confused face in the world* The class?
Me: No, there's a store named Anthropologie.
Coworker. Oh. ... Well, it's kinda cool.
Me: Thanks. ....

Just another awesome interaction with an engineer.

Seattle Duck Syndrome

That humbling moment when you look at your bedside table and see 10 hairbands, two empty bowls of ice cream, half a glass of water, a couple cook books and some crumpled tissues and you think to yourself, "Maybe I'm actually a slob?"

Or when you eat some really delicious Mediterranean chicken for lunch and then register that you have a full afternoon of meetings with fiery garlic breath. 

Le sigh.

I am embroiled in the biggest project of my professional life, my amazing boss left the company for another opportunity and I cannot find a comfortable pair of office appropriate shoes to save my life.  Or my feet.  And a lady cannot manage a project without hustling around.  Hot pink Toms it is, folks.

On the up side, summer is here for real.

Stuff Asians Say

I work with a lot of nosy friendly Asians.  They crack me up.  And you never know what you'll see/smell in our lunchroom.  Once, there was a whole fish (head + eyeballs) sitting on a plate.  The next day, a black duffel bag full of pills and a rice cooker.  I've seen little Asian ladies unloading cucumbers, eggplant, a dozen eggs (?) from our break room refrigerator.  At a recent team potluck, someone brought adobo and now I know my mom makes the best.  Or maybe my grandma does...it's a tie.  
I've never lived among a significant Asian population.  It's fun.  I didn't expect it to change my understanding of my family, but it has in some ways.  I totally get the Scandinavian/Midwestern side of my family because I know a lot of people like them.  I don't know a lot of other people who look like me, who eat things that I grew up eating, who laugh (a lot) and talk (loud) like my aunts and uncles and have some Asian Crazy (what's up, jeans with enormous YSL label).  But now I work with a few of them.

And they ask funny questions.

You the new girl? (Yes.)

You Chinese? (No.)

You so tiny. (I'm 3x bigger than you...)

Where you from? (ND)

You have kids? (No.)

Where your mom live? (MN)

I like your eyebrows. (Thanks. I like yours too.)

Maganda puet. (What the what? I didn't know those two words could go together. Ever!)

Ten Commandments of Engineering

Inspired by the This American Life show earlier this week, I came up with the Ten Commandments of Engineering:

• Thou shalt have a graphing calculator on thy person at all times.
• Thou shalt not have a sense of humor.
• Thou shalt institute Hawaiian Shirt Friday in thy workplace instead.
• Thou shalt mutter or sing to thyself when thou art concentrating intently.
• Thou shalt wear white socks every day.
• Thou shalt memorize process work instructions.
• Thou shalt capitalize 'engineer' in thine process work instructions, for thou art an Engineer, not an engineer.
• Thou shalt love metrics above all else.
• Thou shalt be "visual" and confuse thine coworkers with many signs and wonders.
• Thou shalt occasionally buy thy entire lunch from the vending machine.

Most of my coworkers are engineers.  I am definitely not an engineer. At all. Ever. Amen.  They're all very nice but they are a breed unto themselves...a marvelous, intelligent but definitely weird breed.  Sometimes, I feel like an anthropologist observing a tribe in the Amazon.  These are my notes from the field.