Stuff Asians Say

I work with a lot of nosy friendly Asians.  They crack me up.  And you never know what you'll see/smell in our lunchroom.  Once, there was a whole fish (head + eyeballs) sitting on a plate.  The next day, a black duffel bag full of pills and a rice cooker.  I've seen little Asian ladies unloading cucumbers, eggplant, a dozen eggs (?) from our break room refrigerator.  At a recent team potluck, someone brought adobo and now I know my mom makes the best.  Or maybe my grandma does...it's a tie.  
I've never lived among a significant Asian population.  It's fun.  I didn't expect it to change my understanding of my family, but it has in some ways.  I totally get the Scandinavian/Midwestern side of my family because I know a lot of people like them.  I don't know a lot of other people who look like me, who eat things that I grew up eating, who laugh (a lot) and talk (loud) like my aunts and uncles and have some Asian Crazy (what's up, jeans with enormous YSL label).  But now I work with a few of them.

And they ask funny questions.

You the new girl? (Yes.)

You Chinese? (No.)

You so tiny. (I'm 3x bigger than you...)

Where you from? (ND)

You have kids? (No.)

Where your mom live? (MN)

I like your eyebrows. (Thanks. I like yours too.)

Maganda puet. (What the what? I didn't know those two words could go together. Ever!)