A Beautiful Blur

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day.  I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from the beautiful women in my life, mothers and not.  If becoming a mother has made me anything, it has made me thankful.  During the first few weeks of Theo's life, I would find myself in the rare, quiet moments in the middle of the night or day with such a full heart that I would send up fervent, little prayers of thankfulness for my healthy, little son; for my dear, dear husband; for the love of our families; and for the special privilege of being a woman and a mother.  I love it all so much.  It's not that childcare isn't monotonous or gross sometimes because it definitely is but there's so much love in being a mother.  Sucking snot of his nose has proven to be a tremendously rewarding and gratifying experience, something I would not have believed myself capable of even days before he was born.  Waking up refreshed (?) after two hours of sleep (?!) and waiting for Theo as he begins to stir in his bassinet makes me feel like bursting and when (if) he goes back to sleep full, clean and content, an hour later, I can hardly fall back asleep for sheer happiness.  That's not say there aren't times when I wouldn't wake up to Theo's crying if it weren't for Ryan prodding me in the back and whispering, "Hey, wake up, mama bear" or red-faced screaming fits that set my nerves on edge and make me grit my teeth but these first 5 weeks have been like watching the night skies in time-lapse photography, a beautiful, awesome, humbling blur.