Because I Can't be Bothered to Write in Paragraphs

• When your bike crashes to the ground on the corner of a busy intersection while you are pressing the crosswalk button, it is advantageous to be able to act entirely nonchalant and unconcerned.  If you were on the corner of 23rd Ave and 45th St today at noon, you saw NOTHING.
• The worst thing about being in public is other members of the public.
• If you drink from the office drinking fountain, let the water run for at least 10 seconds before you begin drinking.  I read that once in a magazine and now practice it religiously.
• April showers...actually reveal a lot of decaying little animal carcasses that were hidden in the snow all winter.  I have a serious love/hate relationship with Spring.
• Pork is scary. Cook it too long and it's tough.  Don't cook it long enough and you get trichinosis.  But, my friends, I grilled delicious pork tenderloin tonight!  Or Ryan did.  Whatevs. 
• Our UPS man totally agrees with me on the obnoxious, screaming kid(s)(!) who live(s) in our hallway.  Theoretically, how offensive would it be to knock on their door and ask them to put a sucker in it?
• Speaking of the UPS man, he's our Bffaeaeaeae (that's a Best Friend Forever And Ever And Ever And Ever and Ever) because he always shows up with a smile and brings you presents.  United Presents Service!
• Over-brewed tea is not a substitute for an extra 4 hours of sleep.